What is manipulation? It is when…we move someone´s body, soul or mind the way we need it. It is a feature usual in every field of human existence. And the truth is, that we tend to make ourselves better. We all are manipulated, but we all are manipulators, too. We have to deal with manipulation like with stress or lying. Depending on the context we can find it on a scale from /rather/ positive to /rather/ negative.
Let´s have a look at this context: at work. When someone counsciously applies /rather/ negative manipulative strategies, which are the so-called dirty play/s/, is it really beneficial for that person? Can s/he really work in the same collective of people as a satisfied person, achieving the goals s/he wants to achieve, being seen as excellent, reliable, good colleague, good person? Can s/he have a good position in the society and remain it in the long run?
I often hear “the one who doesn´t steal, steals something from his/her family” or “only the weak ones don´t attack the others” and as to the managers I often hear also this phrase: “we can always get some people to work for us, don´t worry”. Each and every from these opinions would at least partially support the negative path of humankind. BUT – if you answered with NO, you share my point of view.
The so-called corporate manipulator is usually a good observer. He needs a plan and to this plan he needs informations. He finds them cunningly. You can imagine him as a clown at a party for children. This clown takes a colourful balloon and forms it to an attractive shape. He uses this shape then for manipulatin reality, he doesn´t tell the truth /which doesn´t imply he lies – he is just not telling the truth 🙂 /, he uses argumentative trickery, double-bind, communication maneuvres. S/he asks mean questions in the “right” moment, “accidentally” on purpose. In fact he is not a team player, because s/he ignores other´s needs. If s/he is a team player, then s/he needs something for her/himself FROM the team. I want to highlight now, that I am cummulating here the worst versions of acts and that in real life we can see it most probably like features and details.
If the manipulator overacts and exaggerates, it also means, that his/her intelligence is not so high as s/he thinks. If some people reveal the tricky games, they turn their back on him/her. Or reverse – but when they turn face-to-face, they want to react strongly. The information about “snake on a plane” finds its audience
The cards can change very quickly. How? That is something, that we find already in Egyptian mythology. Do you know the “revenge of Horus”? It is a part of the King´s myth as shown in George Hart´s books. Horus is the Egyptian God of light, the Sun, the sky. The symbol of Horus is the eye. Maybe also you wear it as a type of amulet.
In this myth Horus is arguing with Sute(c)h – the God of war and freedom. What do they fight about is not important now. I want to talk about the principles of fight or an argument – we can solve the arguments in many different ways. And Suteh decides for a humiliating dirty game. He wants to humiliate Horus this way: he wants to drug and sexually abuse him. But his plan fails. Being adroit, Horus skillfully catches Suteh´s sperm in the act. He has it in his hand. (Metaphorically we can say that this caught sperm can symbolize any bad information, gossip, untruth).
You may be apprehensive now, that Suteh´s affairs cannot pay off. The community catches then his sperm for the second time – there is one very beautiful volunteer involved. 🙂 This volunteer takes his caught sperm and spreads it on his salad. This salad is served at a great feast to whom? YES, to him – Suteh. So – would you like to taste it? 🙂 AND THIS IS THE WAY HOW OUR BEHAVIOUR COMES BACK TO US IN REAL LIFE. I want all people to understand, that everything comes back to us, sooner or later.
The Gods in the story wanted to reveal the truth. Then they defamed the manipulator. At work your God is your boss or a person in team with high moral and natural authority. Go to your God (or be your own God) and tell him…because this is the way how to keep the team healthy – communicate the problems. Open-door policy is a good strategy – if the only visitor is not the manipulator itself. It is all about the company as a mechanism – when your colleagues or your boss don´t have time to communicate with you, apparently there is something wrong. A long-term view says this cannot be the good strategy. 🙂
Remember Dave Lakhani´s principle 45/15. 45 minutes of total concentration, 15 minutes of communication, consulting… I would love to see passionate people at work, people with visions, with good mood, good vibrations…I know sometimes there is a bad day, but…it shouldn´t be every day.
On the other hand – training the counter-manipulation and maybe also assertiveness shouldn´t end in everyday conspiracy theories about our colleagues, searching for undercurrents, anticipating the danger and concentrating at every possible piece of negation. Generally – critical thinking is a good quality, but when it fluently transforms to paranoia, we have a completely different story to solve. 🙂
Be happy* Next time I will write about attractiveness in today´s world. @LuBarbapostolu